It is, in fact, mere coincidence that I've just boarded a TWA flight as I write down a new batch of travel tips. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. - Lots of modern airports have moving walkways. If you must be an automaton and use it, be sure to watch your step at the end of the walkway so as not to be catapulted into the elderly person in front of you. Which brings us to an excellent point: - The will be an antediluvian on board your flight. "It" will have obviously abandoned any trace of sexuality long ago, but during the reign of Elizabeth, it was female. Men just don't live that long. And yes, Methusulah is going to slow down your boarding process, due to the three stewardesses it takes to carry her iron lung. At least you can now look at your own mortality in a fresh light; you might be reminded that you're going to die, but at least it could be a long, long time from now. - Once upon a flight there was a nurse, and she asked a stewardess if there was any concern about making flight crews walk through the metal detectors everyday. Wasn't she scared of cancer? The stewardess thought the notion was laughable, and after the flight, made a beeline for the designated glass-encased smoking lounge. The are several lessons you can extract from this story, most of which are incorrect. - Yes, she's sure got that safety demonstration down pat. Yes, she's done this thousands of time. Yes, she friggin' hates it. Thanks for asking. - Scream "Wassup?!" at the first guy you meet upon deplaning. It will always brings a smile to his face, and if he returns the greeting, you'll feel at home even in a foreign city. --ryan.