Ah, googlefight. How we love thee.
After messing around for a bit with this little distraction (Mr. T vs. Elmer Fudd-- and Mr. T won), I decided to go on a real search for the truth about life.
What I found was startling. Microsoft really does have something to be afraid of. When Internet Explorer was put up to a fight with Mozilla, Mozilla emerged the champion. Nice.
Not to be the sort of person to jump to conclusions, I went on a few other searches. Windows XP lost the fight with not only GNOME, but also KDE. For the record, put up against each other, GNOME beat KDE.
Emacs beat vi (as it should be), Xchat beats BitchX (also as it should be), so we know that GoogleFight at least has its head on straight. Pitting two free programs against each other has conclusively proven at least three times that the better package will win the fight.
Armed with this information, I persue my efforts to uncover the truth about the universe. Linus Torvalds beats Bill Gates (nearly 2:1), and Richard M. Stallman (nearly 12:1).
Microsoft Office proved the decisive victor over OpenOffice.org (at 2,760,000:0). Microsoft Office also beat Star Office, but only by a hair.
As far as metaphors go, /home easily defeated My Computer (nearly 7:1), and the Trash directory crushes the Recycle Bin (around 22:1).
But the most compelling evidence is yet to come: Linux beats Microsoft Windows by well over 15:1. Linux also beats BSD, past 16:1. It even beats UNIX, nearly 4:1. If Microsoft is scared, they have good reason to be.
But what about RMS? Has the world forgotten Mr. Stallman? Very nearly. Linus Torvalds defeats Richard M. Stallman almost 12:1 (as mentioned above). But Bill Gates also beat him, more than 6:1. Ransom Love beat him too, at more than 3:1. Alan Cox also approaced the 3:1 line. In a desperate attempt to see if there was anybody RMS would beat, I pitted him agains Eric S. Raymond. Raymond won, near 10:1.
What about his baby, GNU? Well, Linux beat GNU more than 12:1. As you recall, Linux beat everything else I put it up against. Sorry, Mr. Stallman. Looks like GoogleFight thinks you're a loser.
Ok, fellas. This page was a -joke-. You do not need to mail me the fights you set up that contradict the findings here, because chances are, I have already seen them. I specifically picked out the ones you see here, so I could highlight their humour value, and ignored the ones contradicting it.