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Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal

I've just watched this film. I had no idea films could be so... Eeeesh.

Imagine: A Marilyn Manson wannabe is doing his last concert for 40 fans on
a Boeing 747. Someone pretending to be him locks him up on this airplane,
and hijacks said plane. They're going to drive it into a small church
in a small village in east Kentucky because that's where the antichrist
is gonna appear for a Very Bad Second Coming (TM).

Throw in a l33t hax0r and a good-looking lass [who is also a l33t hax0r]
for good measure, and you have an exciting sub-plot. Sorta.

Well, I haven't technically ruined the storyline...

But you know? I really actually enjoyed that film. Total and utter crap,
requires an attention span of, uh, nil, but is just a good fun watch
with the odd bit of actually quite listen-to-able music.

Tonight I also saw Lake Placid. A film of even less merit, actually. For
anyone who hasn't seen it, let me ruin it for you: It's a giant
crocodile. They're going to kill it when it gets into a helicopter
[a fair sized one at that], but is so big that it ends up getting jammed
in the door. Yes, this crocodile is big enough that it gets stuck in
a helicopter because it's too big. Possibly worth watching for the bit
where they're using a helicopter to dip a cow in the lake. But if I were
you, I'd turn over and watch some static instead. It's more interesting.

Conclusion: If you're going to watch Lake Placid, don't. Go and watch
Turbulence 3 instead. It's actually better.

Other things, I've only come across it now I've been to the states
and sat in hendersa's living room/workroom. It's called "Thumb Wars"
and is truly a sight to behold. Yes, it's a rip off of various bits of
Star Wars, where the actors are thumbs with really bad voice acting and
pieces of a normal person's face superimposed on the thumbs. This also
will be rated forever in my "Higher than Lake Placid" list.

Past my bedtime. G'night.


<> islamic radicals think tall buildings are bad umkay?
You scare me


Right. Stop asking, I'm putting up a .plan update about my trip to America
once I get back on a fast internet connection. The connection from here
is showing up characters at about 2 per second. When I'm lucky. And it's
annoying me.

More importantly, the reason for this update. Today I bought a mag "PC
Plus". I buy it because it's one of the two mags I can find that don't
treat me like an idiot [so long as I'm not reading anything except the
"expert" sections]. The other one being "Linux Journal" which no shops
stock because nobody buys because it doesn't have a CD on the cover.

In it was a couple-hundred-page booklet from Linux Format of "your linux
questions answered". You'd'a thought it'd be a good thing, wouldn't
you? Well, that's what pissed me off. I'm sitting here reading through
it [I can usually find at least a few gems in these things that I don't
know about], and it's appreciably wrong on some major things. I mean,
come on. It's /not/ a good idea to untarball a new kernel OVER your
existing one. Ever. And so on, and so forth.

This is why people think linux is difficult. Nowdays, it's not. In fact,
in my recent experience, it's actually working better and easier than
windows. Especially Me or XP when they don't like a device. Anyways. So
someone buys this magazine on "installing linux and making it work
when you're stupid", and then the stupid person tries it [stupid isn't
derogatory, here. It's just a term for the less enlightened], and then
it doesn't work. And then they think it's hard or for the l33t among us.



OK, so I'm sitting here in an office with nothing but an internet
connection, waiting for people to pay attention to me. Bwahahahaha.

Looking around, I found this, that I did a couple weeks ago:

If anyone wants to try it, it's a patch against the current kernel,
2.4.18 [although it does also work against 2.4.4]. It changes the
behaviour of the joystick coolie hat, so it behaves like 4 buttons
instead of two axes. Which may or may not be an improvement, depending
on what you want. Just a random hack I did. To mention, it patches
joydev.c, so if you're using some other method, it won't work. But why
aren't you using joydev, then?

Hendersa, I hope you're happy. This is of no interest to you at all,
but I'm updating my .plan as requested anyways.


Waiter: "Would you like a drink with your meal?"
Chunky: "What beers do you have on tap?"
W: "Just the one: {mumble}. It's quite nice"
C: "I'll have one of those, please"
W: "What size?"
C: "A pint"
W: "Huh?"
C: "Well, it's about a pint in size"
W: "We have [something] ounces, or [something else] ounces"
C: "Which one's nearest a pint?"
W: "Uh......"

Argh. Can't you people drink sensible measures?

Beer comes in two sizes: A pint, or a half-pint. I always thought that
was pretty simple...

In fact, I remember now. Several years ago, I had an American girlfriend
[a Smithie, would you believe?], and she took pint glasses over to the
states as novelty gift-items. You people really scare me.

In other news, the topic in when I logged in this morning:

*** Topic for Chunky_Ks loose in the US. Lock up your
  daughters. Film at 11.


From the /other/ side of the Atlantic, this .plan update comes.

I'll do a more convincing update tomorrow [probably], but in the meantime,
I've spoken to just one of the ugly people who read this plan [Hi,
Hendersa (=], and will be meeting at least two of you in a few days.

Being tall is great. It means British Airways upgrade me when I cry
some. I'm only 6'2", but dad's closer to 5'20". The two of us go and check
in early, then cry a little, and we get put into BA's "Traveller Plus"
class, or something, And the seats are big enough that I can actually
fit in them. Woo!

Makes a significant difference over a 11hr flight. [Which, for
anyone curious, is long enough to watch Ocean's 11, Harry Potter &
The Philosopher's stone, Bandits, and the first half of Ocean's 11
again. And read whole bunches of Rubini&Corbet. And stare out the window
a whole lot.]

Other exciting things? I was frisked twice at Heathrow, but unfortunately
both times the good-looking lass just stood by watching while a bloke
gave me a good groping. Bugger.

Steel toe caps are not your current air-travelling friends. After being
leapt on the first time I set the alarm off for metal things, I had
them off and shoved them through the x-ray. Fine, not a problem. But I
dread what you americans are gonna do on my way back. You seem to be a,
uh, "little" more paranoid than the British about this sort of thing at
the moment..

Oh, yeah; For anyone in the US, you should learn to appreciate your
Mexican restaurants. I just went to the Red Onion [don't know if there
are many of them out there, but this one's damn nice.] Yummy. It's
worrying. The last time I was in the states, it was illegal for me to
drink. And it's been bloody ages since I've had any margheritas. And
yours over here are a /damn/ site nicer than any you'll be able to get
in the UK. Mmmmmmm. [nobody in the UK blends theirs, for a start. And
actual lumpy salt round the rim? HA!]

Past my bedime, I think. Not sure when my bedtime was, but I'm pretty
sure I'm feeling like it's long past.

Note: I probably won't write a more extended version of this one tomorrow,
as you've already had all the salient points from my day. Any more would
just be mind-bogglingly dull.


You see, I would find that intensly funny, except...


Man, I hate it when that happens. You're cycling along, and pile into
a width restriction in the road at high speed and do yosself a not
insubstantial amount of damage.

Now, technically, it's probably your fault for being too drunk to really
get on a bike, and it's only through too much practice that you can even
balance on it, but that's not really the point.

So. Today I'm confortable that my jaw's not broken [I wasn't too sure
yesterday; couldn't open my mouth without mumbling in pain...], but I
can't shave because I have this largeish patch of blood & scraped skin
on my chin where I don't really fancy taking a razor. And I imagine I'd
look a little silly if I shaved /around/ it...

I landed on my shoulder, somehow, so now carrying a backpack is quite
an unpleasant experience [so is rolling over in bed, actually]. And I
landed on my wallet & keys, too, and since they're always in the same
place, I have a large bruise in exactly the same place I always get a
large bruise. Ho, hum.

All of which is technically my fault, but I'm not half having a crappy
time at the moment.

In other news, summer's coming; I've been able to cycle to campus in
just a shirt a few times, now, and people are cutting grass again,
the smell of which I happen to like.

And a week today I fly to the states. Yay!

I'll be adding that to all my pages as soon as I can be bothered. Thing
is, let's face it; my webpages aren't exactly "popular" to start with,
and I'm pretty certain that they're of less-than-no-interest to your
average IE user. Ho, hum.


There's something really amusing about
Anyways. On his site there's this:

Which references
[which we've all seen], but then also references

Which I hadn't.


Her name is Lena. Ta, Missus E-B


The word I was looking for was marinate. Thanks, Icculus. Not only are
you some manner of uber-geek, you know cool cooking words, too (=

Yes, it really exists.


Forgot to mention: serve with
1) Boiled potatoes are quite good
2) Green veg. I like green beans, but most things go.


Well, since everyone is abusing my recipes and stuff, here's a genuinely
nice one. So, for today's episode of "in the kitchen with Chunky" [no,
hendersa, /not/ "stomach pumping with the Kibbles"]... Chicken with
Mango & Mustard. Personally, I thought it sounded pretty indifferent
when someone first put it in front of me [I have no particular liking
of either mustard of mango], but it's absolutely delicious.

Right. This is so easy it's scary. You'll need:

1) Some chicken breasts. Ones with skin are nice, but ones without work
too. Pieces of chicken with bone in are good, also, but since this is a
nice thing and I don't like using my fingers when there's huge amounts
of sauce, it's not as ideal.

2) A pot of mango chutney. Personal taste prevails. "sweet" is nice IMHO,
but when eating, "too much" seems to appear really quickly. I also quite
like stuff with cinnamon in it if you can find it.

3) Some mustard. I /really/ like the stuff that's farly mild but has
grains in it. You know the stuff I mean. Without the grains, this is
/nothing/ like as good. Trust me.

4) Olive Oil. For not much of a good reason, but improves the texture
of the chicken no end. You gotta have some manner of oil, and I assure
you that olive oil is definitely worth it over any other.

Right. Mix together [technical terms coming up] "some" of each of the
last three.

About four or five tablespoons of mango to about three of mustard to about
two of olive oil usually seem about right. Mix it all up in a mixing thing

Trivia for students: If you are cooking in a pan suitable for mixing, then
this will need but the one piece of washing up. If you're using a separate
mixing thing, it'll need two pieces of washing up at the end of the day.

Anyways. Put the chicken in it, and leave in the fridge to {you know what
I mean; I can't remember the word}. Personally, I don't usually remember,
and it's no truly great loss. But when you do leave it overnight, it is
much better.

Cook for as long as you'd usually cook the relevant chicken things on
gas mark 5 or so. I find that about 40-45 minutes is usually about right
for about 4 or 5 chicken breasts. The mango goes brown, and that's good.

Many thanks actually go to Si's mum [whose name I, embarrasingly enough,
can't remember] who originally came up with this recipe while I was
round their house one day.

In other exciting news, I'm sorry. You know who you are that I'm
apologising to, and I really mean it. Sincerely. Lots.


MGS VR Missions sooooooo needs more missions as the ninja.


Since my recipes are obviously so popular, here's an extension to the
last one: simply add jalapenos. Yummy. They add texture and flavor,
without impacting the heat much that was put there by the stupidly
hot sauce.

Notice that if you happen to like you jalapenos crunchy [I know I do],
but they're all soft and annoying when they come out of the liquid
they're stored in, simply remove them from that liquid and leave them
in the air for ~1/2 hr. The go all crunchy and get noticeably hotter, too.

For anyone who's not paying proper attention, by the way: this gets a
fair-to-middling on the "things you really don't wanna put in your mouth
unless you know what you're doing" category. If you don't like hot food,
don't do it.


Note: My old stuff has moved to,
although the resourceful among you will be able to find it in
IcculusFinger's archive system.


Well, firstly, an apology. For the last {mumble} weeks, I've been doing
immense amounts of work on my project, avoiding sleep to achieve this,
and other things severally. And while I've been doing that, I've been
a total arse.

Specifically, I'd actually like to apologise to all the people whose
lives I've made unpleasant during that time. Explicit cases include
Sara and a guy on who I let loose on even though he was
actually giving me a compliment. Ho, hum. Everyone else, you know who
you are, and I am sincerely sorry.

So, that out of the way, things, otherly:
My project. Is sucks. I've failed it miserably, and I'm now considering
it to be the final nail in my degree's coffin. I'll probably still get
a degree, but it ain't gonna even slightly resemble a first. While it's
been feeling like I've done huge amounts of work, in the end, I look at
my project, and it just looks crap. Oh, well, what can you do, right?

More cheeful things, now.

While I've been doing my project, my main foodstuff has been the

Take two pieces of bread
Put cheddar cheese on one [mild is good, but mature has a more interesting
flavor, if you happen to like that. Took me a sandwich or three, but
now I prefer it]
Pour oregano liberally-ish over that.
Take the other piece of cheese, and thinly smear some of either
1) Dave's Insanity Sauce
2) Dave's Ultimate Insanity Sauce
over it. Notice the word "thinly". Notice that the word Habanero comes
/before/ the word tomato in the ingredients on the Ultimate Insanity
one. This recipe, by the way, can cause substantial amounts of pain if
you get this step wrong and read "more than a drop or two" into the word
Put the two together, and put into a sandwich toaster until cooked
[how much you like them cooked is up to you]
Eat gently

If you live in the UK, you can get the above at

Yum, yum. And since I imagine many of you missed my last recipe, have a
shufty at . Chip butties
are delicious. Bonus points go to anyone who can tell me why I gave that
web page that name. I'll give you a hint: someone else chose it for me.

Now that major project is out of the way, I can teach myself how to
write a device driver in earnest. Specifically, I have a copy of Rubini
& Corbet, and I shall be producing a rot13 device driver. Why? Because
I need a trivial device to start with, and rot13 is about the only
interesting but trivial thing I could think of that still contains a lot
of the important bits of your average driver but without lots of boring
stuff in the middle.

Hmmm. I lead such an exciting life.

Well, you gotta give some guys credit for obstinacy. The other day,
a guy called xwins appeard in [and #loki, I believe, but
#loki is no longer my standard trolling grounds].

Ten minutes or so after his arrival, I started /msg'ing people the message
"ten bucks says this is Hopkins". For anyone who doesn't know who Hopkins
is, he's someone who's more annoying than me, and, among other things,
slapped a lawsuit on one of's other patrons for comments
said patron made on /.. Now, people who do that actually /scare/ me.
[warning: it's long]

Anyways. In the end, it turned out the he was Hopkins, and lots of
people owe me money... although I commented that they may as well give
it to Icculus. That was sincere, by the way. Major kudos goes to at
least one guy I know who /did/ paypal Icc the money.

Now that my project is done, I have gone and got my playstation
back. Cool. And MGS. And MGS VR Missions. Anyways. Unfortunately, you
won't be seeing the PlayStationCam updating much as I'm no longer on
a permanant internet connection [I never got a response from BT, by
the way], but I'm now back on it. I've beaten ~57% of the VR missions
[according to the stats there], and I've almost not started MGS at all,
given that I found it easier to pick up & put down the VR missions. So
I'll be playing them for a while.

And finally, for this plan update, my exciting holiday plans:
Wooo! Am flying out to the states come the 3rd of April, and am flying
back on the 9th. Will be meeting, for the first time, some of you scary
people who actually read this .plan. Mwahahahaha. I'll be arriving in
LAX at 5.20 in the afternoon after an 11hr 05m flight. Mmmmmm.

When this .plan was written: 2002-04-18 19:07:23
.plan archives for this user are here (RSS here).
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