Tonight, to celebrate the release of the program I've spent the last few months working on, I decided to take in a movie. The only thing starting at 8:00 was "Romeo Must Die", so now I'm eight dollars poorer, two hours deader, and not the least bit more entertained. The title is similar to one of the lines in the movie ("Sorry, Romeo, but you gotta die!"), but other than that, there's absolutely no relation to anything Shakespearean in this whole film. That's only the tip of the pile of feces that comprises this movie, though. If you want modern-day Romeo and Juliet, rent the '96 version with Leo and Claire. If you want GOOD karate (and, I'm sad to report, better dialog), rent Rumble in the Bronx. After the credits, as the lights came back up, I gathered up my smuggled-in snack wrappers and empty Snapple bottle. Among my trash on the vacant seat to the left was a little, pretty glass pipe, left, I assume, by the person on the other side of the chair. As I stuffed my trash into my backpack to conceal it (wouldn't want to get caught with THAT!), I grabbed the pipe and headed for the first guy I could find wearing a bowtie. "Excuse me, do you work here?" "No, sir, I just wear this bowtie to pick up women." "I see. Look, I found this ornate paraphenalia that is clearly designated to aid in the smoking of tabacco products up there by my seat, so could you be sure it makes its way to the LOST AND FOUND?" He seemed a little stunned, but I pressed the glass pipe into his hand and walked away. As I looked back, I saw him sniff the bowl appreciatively, glance around, and slip the device into his own pocket. In retrospect, maybe he was just there to pick up women. --ryan.