help: tweaking openbox

[muzzle]

Hello,
I usually use openbox on my low end pc, and I like it so much that I
decided to give it a shot on my everyday laptop. I'm using it together
with xfce (for the taskbar and the desktop) and I'm having a few
problem in tweaking the two to work together:
 - ob steals the right-click on the desktop to show its menu, so I
can't get the context menu on the desktop icons.
 - I use focus under mouse and I would like ob to rise a window only
if I click on the titlebar, is it possible? (currently all I got is
rise-on-click)
 - is there a way to get ob to focus new windows only if they are
children (popups) of the currently focused window?

I'll apologize in advance for my noobness if this was already covered
by the docs, I tried, but I could not find a clue :(

Hope you can help me,

Emme