Space Rover, Episode II: Ne Humanis Crede, Audio Version - Outtakes Transcript Narrator: Spacer Rover: Episode Two - Highlights of Outtakes --- Hologram/Graham: Just consider yourself lucky... * breaks down laughing * Hamish: Continue... --- Captain/Hamish: Is everyone okay? Hologram/Graham: Let me check. * slight microphone movement * [Malcolm attempting to find room for both himself and microphone stands] * laughing * Malcolm: God damn. * inhales * Hologram/Graham: No, everyone is most definitely not okay! Peter's dead, or at least highly squished. Malcolm: Ah, there we go. I figured it out. Hamish: My nads!!!! Malcolm: In the middle of recording I figure it out. Oh well. Buh buh bum... Ah... androids need space too. --- Peter/Malcolm: You crashed the shi... agh... * laughter * Graham: Bit of robo-phlegm ladies and gentlemen... [see last transcript as I am not repeating myself here...] --- Hologram/Graham: Convenient that. Hamish: Mint... [Red Dwarf: Back to Earth] Graham: Tah very much chuck pal luv sir... we're sorted. Hamish: Sorry... --- Captain/Hamish: Go and see if you can find anything we can salvage to bring the Rgover back... * laughs * What the **** was that? Malcolm: Rrrrover. Hamish: Okay, I will try again. Graham: Rrred rrrock rrrover! --- Captain/Hamish: Just stay out of my way... amazing things will happen here soon, you just wait! [from Doom 3] --- Hologram/Graham: Why don't we overclock the Rover's processor, focus all remaining power to the engines, and turn off the coolant systems for that one extra boost? * chuckles * Hologram/Graham: Why not? Peter/Malcolm (laughing): Seriously? Sounds good to me! * clears throat * --- Peter/Malcolm: But I am not the one who parked the ship at a forty five degree agle... ankle? Hamish: Eggol! Peter/Malcolm: Eggol... Ah. --- Hologram/Graham: Damnabilis recordatio... no, that sounds too much like a spell I am casting... Hamish: Avada kedavra! [from Harry Potter] --- Captain/Hamish: Heh, heh, heh spout-ah! * chuckles * Hologram/Graham: I hope something doesn't spout out of you... --- Captain/Hamish: Oh yeah!!! Malcolm: No, you're supposed to... Hologram/Graham: * starts growling and howling * Malcolm: * joins in * Hamish: * joins in as well * Hologram/Graham: Okay, okay, okay... okay, I'll restart this just to make sure it is only me... --- Hologram/Graham: * growls * * sneezes * Okay, I will do that without making sound effects noises... --- Captain/Hamish: * strangled gasps, retching * Malcolm: That's horrible! Graham: That was more sick than hiccup. Hamish (chuckling): Okay... --- Hologram/Graham: You question me Mr. Mirrow? * all laugh * Malcolm: Mr. Mirrow... Graham: Mr. Mirrow! You're a sad old thing! [Red Dwarf VI Smeg Ups] --- Hologram/Graham: If you won't show some de... something... no, don't show that! --- Captain/Hamish: * throaty cough * Oh god... * all laugh * Malcolm: Let's try again... Graham: That was more like hork, not huck! Hamish: Okay, well, what the hell is huck? Graham: * drunken huck * Malcolm: * drunken huck * Graham: Yeah like that... that was gross... --- Captain/Hamish: Was that a phalanx... oruguagugh... * laughing * Hologram/Graham: No, it isn't. Malcolm: I don't know what it is, but it is not a phalanx oruguagugh... --- Hologram/Graham: Exclamation... * breaks down laughing * Malcolm: Exclamationibus! Hamish (as Dalek): EXTERMINATE! [from Doctor Who (1963-1989)] --- Captain/Hamish: Gotta go... Malcolm (as Road Runner): Meep! Meep! [from Loony Tunes] Captain/Hamish: Well that was appropriate. --- Hologram/Graham: Did you see the Captain run by... rumbai? ...Rumbai rumba! Malcolm: Did you... did you see.. did you see the Captain rumba by past? Graham: Bluh bluh bluh buh buh. Hamish [to My Sharona]: My splerohbah! Graham: What's a splerohbah? --- Hologram/Graham: Much obliged... obliged?! --- Captain/Hamish: I promise to never take on the... * laughing * --- Hologram/Graham: Come out, come out wherever you arrreeee! * laughing * Malcolm: Arrrrreeee.... Arrrhhaaaaa.... Areehhhhaa Hamish: You were getting a bit Patrick Stewart there too. [From Star Trek: Insurrection] ---- Hologram/Graham (cheerfully): Ne lucem crede. * chuckles * Ne lucem crede! --- Hologram/Graham: Expect somebody else? Captain/Hamish: But? * all starting laughing * Graham & Malcolm (like a motorboat): But but buttttttttt... --- Hologram/Graham: Ego amare verbum fabula. Malcolm: Let go my Eggo! [Eggo Nutrigrain Waffles commercial/meme] * laughing * --- Hologram/Graham: You do not have to have such an attitude about it you know. Hominum.... Malcolm: Homina homina homina! [Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners] Graham: Okay, I will do that again. --- Captain/Hamish: The wall's caving in! The wall's caving in! ...The wall's caving in! The wall's caving in! Malcolm: Okay, that will probably do. Graham: That is probably good. Malcolm: That's probably enough of them. Hamish (sarcastically): Did I mention the wall's caving in? Malcolm: Oh, just once or twice. --- Peter/Malcolm: Engage! Graham: Good, just hammy enough. Malcolm starts miming the theme from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Hamish: Okay, okay... --- Hamish: I do not have to go beep beep, right? Malcolm: No, those are real beeps. Beep beep! Graham: Beep beep! Hamish: Okay, meep meep! [Road Runner again...] --- Captain/James: I did not do anything, I swear! I swear! I cuss! I profane! --- Captain/James: Don't move. I have the guh... I have the gout! --- Peter/Malcolm: We need to deactivate and fix him! (sinister) I'll fix him! * laughing * Hologram/Graham: No you won't! --- Captain/Hamish: Shut up, I know already! Hey, catch... cold. Graham: The plague! --- Peter/Malcolm: Illogical, how does this... * coughs * Hologram/Graham: Oh no! The robot's got flu! --- Hologram/Graham (sing song): Why are you smiling? Captain/Hamish (singy songier): Why are you smiling, dearest? -- Peter/Malcolm: You seem to be right... * coughs * --- Peter/Malcolm: You seem to be right, this ship was transmitting illegal cargo... Graham: Aha! Transmitting! [Should be transporting...] --- Captain/James: Maybe due to his concerns about being caught transferring illegal goods. Is that why the crew... Malcolm: Stolen. Hamish: Oh god, is there a difference? Okay... --- Peter/Malcolm: I think... * coughs * Hamish: Therefore I am. --- Peter/Malcolm: Binding together the enhancer test case... Hamish: The educated. --- Peter/Malcolm: Should be to make haste. * inhales * Hamish: Make him cease. --- Captain/Hamish: Well, I guess we should destroy the test version and get Hologram up and running again... Much as I rue the day he was born... Okay, I added that last bit. * chuckles * --- Peter/Malcolm: He seemed to have quite the relations... Aggh! --- Hamish (singing): I hope you enjoyed our show!!!! Malcolm: Alrighty, there we are! Hamish: Don't you have to read the credits? Malcolm: What? --- Copyright 2013-2018 Malcolm Wilson Multimedia. Duel licensed under the GFDL and CC BY-SA copylefts. Please visit the Space Rover website at http://icculus.org/mwm/rover/