[2005-01-04]
Chunky reviews the games that you are, aren't, or should be playing
There may be a theme to this, it's up to you to see if you can work out
what it is.
Observe that games from category 1 are generally around 50 bucks when new,
and may require further subscription fees.
Observe also that all games in category 2 cost less than half of any in
category 1.
1) First the ones that you and everyone else, are or aren't playing.
Categories are:
YAFPS - Yet Another First Person Shooter
YA3PS - Yet Another Third Person Shooter
YARTS - Yet Another Real Time Strategy
YARPG - Yet Another Role Playing Game
YASG - Yet Another Sports Game
Halo
YAFPS - More of the same, with campier bad guys
LOTR: Battle For Middle Earth
YARTS - More of the same, with expensive names you'll recognise
NBA
YASG - More of the same, no redeeming qualities
Metroid Prime
YAFPS - More of the same, with kinda interesting puzzles
LOTR: 3rd Age
YARPG - More of the same, with expensive names you'll recognise
That Blizzard One
YARPG - More of the same, but this time less crap
NFL
YASG - More of the same, no redeeming qualities
Metal Gear Solid
YA3PS - More of the same, with trees
Doom
YAFPS - More of the same, but darker
NHL
YASG - More of the same, no redeeming qualities
Half-Life
YAFPS - More of the same, with a gravity gun
City of Heroes
YARPG - More of the same, without the interesting side-bits
UT
YAFPS - More of the same, prettier graphics
GTA
YA3PS - More of the same, with more ho-beating
Age of Whoevers
YARTS - More of the same, without even changing the engine
There were a bunch more, but I took them out since you're probably all
starting to get the hint by now.
Of course, I'm not being entirely fair. At least one of the games there
isn't just a newly numbered version of an older game, or licensed from a
movie stolen from a book...
2) Secondly, I come to the games that you aren't but should be playing.
This also has something of a theme, not because I'm a whore, but because
I'm genuinely impressed.
Gish.
http://www.garagegames.com/pg/product/view.php?id=40 You're an amorphous blob of tar with really cool physics. Kind of
a platformer-puzzler, but not really.
Orbz 2.
http://www.garagegames.com/pg/product/view.php?id=5 You can point, and you can click. That's where the UI for this game
begins, and ends. It's great fun to play online, though, and you
can genuinely pick it up, play two games, and put it down.
Zap!
http://www.garagegames.com/pg/product/view.php?id=39 Honestly, this is appreciably a Torque Network Library demo, but that
doesn't mean it's not cool fun. What I really like about it is the
style of the game that's combined with the unexpected gametypes.
Marble Blast.
http://www.garagegames.com/pg/product/view.php?id=15 I know, I know. It's a couple years old, now, but it's still great.
Finally, Jugglemaster.
http://icculus.org/jugglemaster/ Because I think I'm funny.